Legion – The Nativity Story . . . With Machine Guns

Without its nice little twist on the nativity story, ‘Legion’ would be an entirely forgettable lesson in B-movie horror. But instead, it’s a movie that takes a moment to discuss the hardships of being a ‘Joseph’; in the Bible, the oft-forgotten-about surrogate father to the son of God and, in real life, the guy who has a vital role that no one appreciates.

But, unfortunately, it takes a long time to get its point across. Standing in the way is the movie’s primary narrative; a motley crew, stuck in a roadside diner as the apocalypse hits, soon discover that the waitress’ soon-to-be-born child is humanity’s only hope of survival. It may sound gloriously wacky, but, in reality, the apocalypse-y bits are almost entirely devoid of thrills.
Scott Stewart (director) tries his best to cover up the dull action with some adventurous camerawork but, in between the few worthwhile moments of philosophising, there’s just a whole lot of uninspiring noise. Explosions here, shootouts there; and all rendered in scare-free, middling-to-weak CGI.
That being said, Paul Bettany does a solid job of playing the fallen Angel banished from heaven for keeping his faith in the human race.  And, even though the writing has a tendency to make him annoyingly preachy, he still remains a step above the rest of the cast.
There are moments when ‘Legion’ really shines but, in the end, they’re let down by a downright lazy B-movie sensibility.
★★

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